Saturday, September 2, 2017

The Hare & The Tortoise (a politically correct version)

This past year for school I had a writing assignment to rewrite one of Aesop's Fables using the style of another author. One of the authors they recommended using the style of was James Finn Garner's in his "Politically Correct" series (where he retells classic stories to be "politically correct"). So, I chose to rewrite the renowned story of The Hare & The Tortoise in the style of Garner -- with a politically correct twist. ;) It was one of my favorite writing assignments from this past year, and so, I've decided to share it with you all, just for fun. So... enjoy, my friends! :)

     One day, a hare was making fun of a tortoise for being motion-challenged. The tortoise became offended by the hare's teasing and considered suing him for slander, but decided to challenge the hare to a race instead. The discriminatory hare laughed and said, "How ridiculous!"
     With the tortoise being thoroughly offended, the hare finally agreed to the race. They asked the fox to be the judge.
     "Ready, set, go!" the fox yelled.
     The hare rushed way ahead of the tortoise, and so the fox called, "Hare, don't run so fast! You will make Tortoise feel bad."
     But the prejudiced hare ignored the fox's advice and kept on. But soon, after getting so far ahead, the hare started to feel bad for the tortoise, and so he decided to stop for a little while so that the tortoise could catch up and regain some of his self-esteem. While he was waiting for the tortoise, he laid down to rest, and as it was such a nice warm day, he drifted off into a deep sleep.
     Meanwhile, the tortoise kept plodding on. He was beginning to get quite tired, but then he saw the hare asleep. The tortoise became excited and carefully tiptoed by the hare, realizing that he might be able to win. Finally, the tortoise crossed the finish line.
     All the other animals cheered, and the hare woke up suddenly to the noise. With a shock of realization as to what had happened, he dashed to the finish line, finding that the tortoise had already crossed the finish line before him.
     "But it's not fair!" the hare complained. "I would have won if I hadn't fallen asleep!" He began to cry.
     The fox judge thought about this. "Well, you both worked so hard," he said. "So you both get a prize!" The fox handed both creatures a 1st place ribbon.
     The ungrateful tortoise pouted. "But I crossed the finish line first!  I won! Why does he get the same prize as me?"
     "We're all winners, Tortoise!" the fox said. "Don't be upset. No matter what you do you'll always be a winner."

Moral: Any pace will win the race.

Have a wonderful weekend, everyone!


  1. Wow Faith! I really enjoyed this. This is about right. No one can lose anymore, everyone has to be a winner.... Good job!